inscriptions

In between the lines of this page I inscribe my own reality. Where you are still alive and mom no longer cries her self to sleep at night. Where she doesn’t have to catch herself when she so routinely utters your name, like she did just the other day. In the life span of these sentences you are here, holding my hand, stroking my hair and smiling as I lie in your lap, listening proudly as I go on and on about college life and my plans for graduation.

I haven't lost my faith

haven't lost my faith
but it's been misplaced
it's around here somewhere,
hiding in-between the
piles of tribulations
and the heaps of hardships
my room used to be
so clean and tidy
I used to be able to find
anything, but lately
things have been piling up,
I don't know where
all the dirt is coming from
all this doubt and mistrust
keeps seeping in through
some hidden crack in the window
threatening to drown me alive, but
I can still see a small amount of hope
still gleaming bright
in the midst of it all,
I gotta stay focused on it
gotta keep my eyes locked on it
I can't let this dirt settle
or I'll be trapped in here forever

I Hate Hospitals

Just got back from the emergency room yikes! To say the least today was an eventful day, and they sent me home with a "come back if it gets worse." So I spent countless hours in terribly smelling waiting rooms for nothing. American health care really does suck, but that's a different subject for a different post. I went to the doctor for chest pains and the doctor refered me to the ER, my family freaked out by I was completely fine. My cousin was even preparing to hope a flight to Texas. They all said my pains were coming from a place of stress and repressed emotion, I don't think that's true but if it is from repressed emotions then I guess I wouldn't agree with them anyhow. O well, all I can do is pray at this point, and make my appointment with the cardiologist tomorrow.