March 3rd

like a tree deeply rooted with it's leafless arms
streatching towards the heavens underneath
a weeping sky,
so will I praise You; even when
life rains down on me and
the lightening strikes, threatening to
destroy me, yet will I praise the Lord

we all dream...

We all dream of that special someone. We all dream of lavishing all of our love on our future hubby/wifey to be. We all have this untapped pool of love inside of us, just sitting there, just waiting. I think that we should bottle up all of the love and lavish it on ourselves instead. Love attracts love, love yourself and be loved in returned. It’s just that simple.

A Man Of God

So I'm sitting here catching up on Hawthorne and falling in love with Derek Luke's character. I am upset though that he is the only black male character and he hassss to have a "baby momma drama" storyline. Any who, I love his character because he is a man of God and there's nothing sexxier than a black Christian man. When I say "Christian" I mean a devoted man of God, one who thirsts after God's every word. Not just one who proclaims his walk while wearing a gold cross around his neck. No, I'm talking full devoted, God's word spilling out of his mouth type of guy. I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it.

But then it makes me think about the whole law of attraction  thing. How am I doing on my own walk with Christ. Would my current relationship with God be the type of relationship that would attract a man like that? *let us meditate on that for a moment*.....  I remember learning about the relationship triangle....

(via)

basically you are on one side (person 1) and your future spouse is on the other (person 2) and as both of you get closer to God the closer you get to each other, simple right. Well I need to get back on track and  be stronger in my relationship with God. I'm feel like I'm stuck halfway up the triangle, guess I got to comfortable where I was. I need to go back to fervently pursuing after God and chasing him with all that I have, and pray that my person 2 is doing the same.

Random thoughts @ 4am

 being an introvert does not mean I like to be alone.

 misery loves company but so does happiness.

 do people learn how to love or is it innate?

 I think God favors black people.

 is acceptance a reward for mediocrity, for being "normal?"

 Can love really die, can one really fall out of love with another?

 brokenness is beauty, perfection is boring.

 Who will God trust to love me. With who's heart will he trust me with?

 I'm say I'm ready for a serious relationship, but deep down I know I'm not.

I wonder how many innocent people there are in prison and how many guilty people there are walking the streets.

Why don't people believe in love anymore?

Why are British shows better than American ones. I like how foreign movies/shows focus less on theatrics and more on the simple things like dialogue. But why are the seasons so short for British shows?

I think I'm the only nerd that isn't all to excited about the final Harry Potter film. I'll actually be more excited for the upcoming Twilight film. Maybe it's because I actually read the Twilight series. If I had read all of the Potter series I would probably have seen the final film 5x's by know. *makes mental note to finish reading the series*

and finally the Luther Series is amazing (what I'm watching now), Idris Elba rightfully deserves his Emmy nod, wif his fine self. ;) 

Just Keep Stepping

I've been feeling kind of depressed lately. It's about to be my senior year in college and I guess I'm feeling a little apprehensive. I feel like I haven't accomplished all that I wanted to this past 3 years. I feel like I haven't left my mark. But then I have to jump back and check my self. Not to toot my horn but I've done so much these past three years. I mean I'm about to be a freaking senior at Spelman College, there are a lot of women who would love to be in my shoes. I've traveled the country and even manged to add a few stamps to my passport. Is God working in me or what. These past years I have also grown spiritually and next year I'll a Co-Director of on campus ministry. I'm a little nervous but I know that God has me in this position for a reason. Despite all my worries about the upcoming year, despite all my worries about what the future holds, I know that God has my life in his hands.

Proverbs 20:24 says "A man's steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way?"

So I sit hear and try to examine my future and try to map out the next phase in my life, I hold fast to the notion that God is up there pulling the strings. He is in ultimate control and I trust Him, for I know that His plans for me a far greater than any thing my finite mind could ever think of. I just have to keep on stepping and trust in His plan for my life. "Just keep stepping, just keep stepping"

No Regrets

If you found out that you would lose your sight
what would be the sights you'd regret not seeing

If you found out that you would lose your voice
what would be the words you'd regret not saying

If you found out that you would lose your sense of smell
what would be the scents you'd regret not savoring

If you found out that you would lose your sense of hearing
what would be the sounds you'd regret not listening to

If you found out that you would lose your sense of touch
what would be the things you'd regret not feeling

It's time for us to start living in the moment
to do all that we can, while we can still do it

Don't wait till it's to late to start living
savour all the sights, smells, sounds, and feelings of every moment

speak up, don't regret words unsaid
live the life you've always dreamed, today!, right now!

Go out and live, nothings stopping you but you
live a full life and leave no space for regrets

Moments of Serenity

My little piece of serenity yesterday...

Everyday I try to find a peaceful spot to sit, think, or write. A peaceful moment in my day were I dream and thank the Lord for all his many blessings. A peaceful moment were I pause all the burdensome thoughts in my head.

I think it's important to seek out these moments in our daily lives, even if they are but a mere one second break from the days reality. Even if I have to turn on the faucet and imagine that I'm in some foreign land, sitting on the beach listening to the beautiful roar of the ocean. Even if I have to spend a few extra seconds in the shower praying and singing, I will find my daily moment of serenity. These moments remind me that the day's problems/worries are not really as big as they seem. They also remind me that my God is bigger than anything and that He orders my steps.

p.s. I have decided that in the future I want to build a Koi pond or a water garden, they are so beautiful and tranquil.